When was the last time you read a title like that? Then again, if you live in New York, you probably *know* someone who HAS a similar fetish. But it’s all new to me, and that’s why I love striking up conversations with random strangers cuz I never know what’s going to come out. Tonight’s random conversation was with a dom in the New York BDSM “scene.” He teaches classes at Columbia on the subject and holds “play parties” at various locations in New York.
He’s been in the BDSM community for nearly 20 years, and he’s seen it all. So I wondered what – if anything – shocked him – crossed his line. He answered quickly: SUTURE FETISH. He’d been at a BDSM club and seen someone sewing their lips shut. The first thing I thought is SCARS but the worse danger is nerve damage. There are two major nerves right at the corners of the mouth that would cause paralysis if dinged. He says people get off on the blood, the pain, the endorphins and adrenaline released because of the pain. I imagine the chance of paralysis is part of the thrill too. EEW! It’s one of those things that I didn’t know existed and now that I do, I wish I didn’t.
He also talked about the “old guard” of the BDSM world. The ones who puff up like Bluto from Popeye, the ones with their leather bondage wear who think everything should be TERRIBLY SERIOUS. He mentioned a dom named “Flag” who has affected a very intense tone in his speech 24/7. I imagine someone speaking as Vincent Price constantly. Not my thang. I am the new kids, I guess. I like to giggle.
Other interesting things:
- Euphemisms: In any “scene” there are euphemisms. Dirty talk can be “voice play.” A “rape fantasy,” is a “no consent fetish.” I wondered if “play party” was just a euphemism for “group sex” but he said on the whole it’s not. Most play parties stop short at penetration. Why? It heightens the sexual tension knowing there’s a line that can’t be crossed, it makes the women more comfortable, less performance anxiety for men, and, “there’s nothing more dull than a man after he’s come.” True dat!
- A common complaint among those wanting threesomes is it’s impossible to find a second guy for a two guys one girl threesome!
- Nazis and Looney Tunes? Apparently there’s a huge NeoNazi/Aryan Nation fetish community. Tangent on Aryan Nation lingo: “88″ = HH (H is the eighth letter of the alphabet). HH = Heil Hitler = Aryan Nation. So you could say, “Hey, your tattoos look a little 88.” Elmer Fudd tattoo is a symbol of Neo Nazis (which is weird because if anything he says flaming gay with a lisp). And apparently Bugs Bunny is black. (?!) Woody Woodpecker tattoo means the bearer has likely been in prison. (but ??) Peckerwood = white guy. Also Aryan Nation thing.
- Frenemies: Apparently Jew/Nazi play is big. Especially GAY Jew/Nazi play. You are an abomination you jewish fancy young lad! You must be exterminated! Oh you big Nazi blond Aryan get off my Dreidel! And then there’s fucking. etc.
- Nerd cred: I have heard the comment around that a big chunk of the BDSM community is nerds. Why? “They like to overthink things WAY too much and BDSM is perfect for that!”
