theredheadsaid

Sex and the City 2: even a $10 million clothing budget can’t save you from boring dialogue and ridiculous plot.

For the record, I didn’t need another Sex and the City movie. Hell, I didn’t need the first one.

I was completely satisfied at how the SATC series ended. While in some ways the characters were in fact caricatures of certain archetypes, the end of the series found them more fully fleshed out as people. Charlotte found happiness with hairy, uncouth but steadfast Harry and got her baby; Miranda accepted family life in Brooklyn, Samantha beat cancer, became human and let herself love Smith, and Carrie became okay with being single and then magically, Big decided she was “The One.”  (We’ll leave out the part about how Michael Patrick King became obsessed with Carrie close-ups toward the end). Which is why I thought SATC: The Movie was completely superfluous: the Big wedding drama, Steve’s cheating, Samantha back to being a whore, Charlotte’s pregnancy. Ok, there was some satisfaction in seeing Charlotte’s pure hatred at Big when he wussed out at the wedding.

SATC 2 continues this “making up trouble” tradition.

SPOILER-FREE REVIEW:

The girls look awful, their clothes are terrible, the plot is unrealistic (Miranda has a chauvinist boss and she doesn’t give him a mouthful? A free trip for four to luxury Abu Dhabi resort on a Sheik’s dime?), and all the things you loved about Sex and the City the series, like the great friendships between the girls, the awkward yet realistic dating situations, and the snappy, witty dialogue you’d come to know and love – all gone. Along with Big’s cute eyebrow flicks – but you can only blame that on some bad plastic surgery!  The rest, I think we can safely blame on the departure of the female writing staff. Michael Patrick King has been helming the last two films alone, and it shows. Oh, and I think the girls took the lighting and makeup staff along with them when they left because DAAYUM the girls are looking heinous. In the immortal words of my friend Eric Jesus Grimm, “Sarah Jessica Parker is looking like a genetically-engineered cross between Veronica Lake and the Crypt Keeper.”

If you’ve come expecting anything in the order of plot, character development or gorgeous clothes – in other words – anything more than a “romp;” you will be sorely disappointed. I hate to use this comparison – but it’s kind of like going to the wake of a relative who’d died, and they look so utterly unlike themselves post mortem, that you wished you’d never gone.

For a full, detailed, and spoiler-ridden review, keep reading after the jump…

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These were ideas for a painted (on the wall) headboard at one of my apartments in California. The first one is my favorite.

In the usual “down the rabbit hole” fashion, I was bouncing around on YouTube and discovered these David Bowie on Dinah Shore videos from 1975 -  talking about art, self-invention, obsessive love, and Henry Winkler spouting nonsense. Notice how shy and soft-spoken he is. So charming.

Performing “Stay” with a funk band

I didn’t have many deep thoughts last week so how about a roundup of some cool stuff I discovered?

Cool Neighborhood Stuff

Little Soap Shop in Astoria

On Saturday I hung out with my good friend Meg (of weheartastoria.com and harmoniousbelly.com) and we puttered around Astoria. She took me to her favorite soap shop, aptly called, The Little Soap Shop, located at 22-07B 36th Street, Astoria. In a space no bigger than the average New York bedroom, perky owner Vivian Dritsas has assembled a lovely cache of handmade and glorious-smelling products: soaps, soy candles ($8-$22 in scents like honeysuckle, lavender, raspberry & guava), shea butter creams (seriously decadent), homemade lip balm, and other delightful things. Her soaps smell fabulous and they lather upwonderfully, and leave my skin so so soft. You can find basic scents like gardenia and lavender, but also orange grapefruit, brown sugar & fig, and a secret scent in such demand I would have had to wait WEEKS to get it, vanilla lavendar patchouli (it’s a BLACK soap which is a little intimidating).

Stop in and treat yourself! And peek into Vivian’s little soap lab in the back, especially on her steel table that she’s decorated with positive sayings!

Cool foodie stuff

Coconut Sugar

Meg had the great idea to do a brownie experiment using coconut sugar.Coconut sugar is made from the sap of coconut flowers. It has a lower glycemic index than regular sugar, and has a lovely mild taste – even a little maple-y. It comes in several forms – in a jar (where the top is covered with wax) – and the BIG ROCK kind that you need to grate.

Nourishing Gourmet has a great write-up on the different kinds of coconut sugars.

and that’s about it. Hopefully deep thoughts will return this week!

If they sold cards for Law & Order plots, they’d look something like this (with better drawings, of course). p.s. I drew these with my very own pen!

Vienna Waits For You – Billy Joel

Slow down you crazy child
You’re so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you’re so smart
Then tell me why are you still so afraid

Where’s the fire where’s the hurry about
You’d better cool it off before you burn it out
You’ve got so much to do and only so many hours in a day

But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want or you can just get old
You’re gonna can kick off before you even get half way through
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down
You’re doin fine
You can’t be everything you want to be before your time
Although it’s so romantic on the borderline tonight

Too bad but is the life you lead
You’re so far ahead of yourself
That you forgot what you need
Though you can see when you’re wrong
You know you can’t always see when you’re right

You’ve got your passion
You’ve got your pride
Don’t you know that only fools are satisfied
Dream on but don’t imagine they’ll all come true
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Slow down you crazy child
Take the phone off the hook and disappear for a while
It’s allright you can afford to lose a day or two
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you
You know that when the truth is told
You can get what you want or you can just get old
You can kick off before you even get halfway through
Why won’t you realize
Vienna waits for you
When will you realize
Vienna waits for you

Ooh i just found this! These are little toast buttons i used to draw!

If you ever want to know celebrities and historical figures a little more intimately, check out the site Letters of Note. However, for sheer chill factor, check out this letter from someone to a musical memorabilia expert.

I’ve been making treats for years, and I’ve even sold them casually through retail, but this is the first time I’ve sold them at a booth at a food market. Here are some of the things I learned from being a vendor at the Greenpoint Food Market.

Before the fair……………………………..

Plan Plan Planity Plan

I was making baked goodies for the fair, and I had to make it the night before so it was fresh, so I really couldn’t do that in advance. But you CAN do things in advance like:

• buying ingredients
• buying supplies (plates, utensils, napkins, bags, tablecloth)
• getting change

But in terms of doing the cooking/baking, plan for errors. Test any new equipment ahead of time. I did NOT do this with a new pan I got, and it turns out I need a lower oven temperature for it because it burned the bottom of my bars. I had to spend extra time salvaging the ones that were still edible AND making other items to make up for the bars that were ruined. FAIL that could have been avoided.

Make sure everything is priced

Some vendors didn’t have prices on their wares. When you put the prices out, you make it easier for the visitor to decide whether they might buy. If you don’t have a price, there’s another hurdle they have to get over. However, I found that if the sample is KICK ASS this is less of a problem.

Bring a friend

I was planning on manning the booth all by myself, but my friend Laurel showed up (I thought just for support) but she stayed with me the whole afternoon, and i was GLAD SHE DID! I didn’t realize that things like manning the sample flow and just chatting and bagging is better with two people. Plus, if things get slow, there is someone to talk to!

Don’t forget the extras

You need to bring more than just your food. Don’t forget:

• a tablecloth
• a dish to put the samples on
• bags to put product in to take away
• napkins (both for cleanliness and for food consumed right away)
• utensils if needed
• knife (for cutting samples if you’re doing it onsite)
• paper towels for yourself (they never have enough onsite)
• tape for hanging signs or various things

Bring enough change

I had foreseen this issue, so I brought with me $100 in change (I did however, bring too many quarters – $30 in quarters was entirely too much!) Bring many ones, and a bunch of fives. Better to have too much than too little, and you don’t want to lose sales if you have to tell someone, “Sorry I don’t have change for a twenty!” (because EVERYONE wants to pay with a $20!) But keep your money bucket out of range of people as they pass by! I was nervous someone would swipe it!

If you are a legitimate business, have a business card with your website on it

Especially when it comes to food, people like to gab about some new food they found. If that new food is you, make it easy for them to do that! Have a business card with your contact/website info on it, people can a) tell their friends about you and b)tweet/blog/Facebook about you when they get home! Make it easy for them to do that!

At the fair………………………………………………………

Have a gimmick to get people to come over

My gimmick at the booth was frosting shots. I had big pastry bags of frosting, and then we had doled out some pretty little sample cups of frosting for 50 cents! (a bargain!)

Stand – don’t sit at the booth if at all possible

Laurel and I stood almost for the entire time of the fair, because we didn’t HAVE chairs. Towards the end, we noticed some free ones, but I soon realized I didn’t like the position it put me in, lower than the buyer’s eye level. It’s easier to engage someone if you are at the same level.

On that note, price realistically, but not foolishly

If possible, visit that particular fair in advance to find out what the other vendors are charging for similar items. You don’t want to be charging $3 for cookies when others are only charging $2. However, if you are using more premium ingredients, your prices shold reflect that (also so you can make a profit). There’s nothing worse than taking money for an item, and kicking yourself when you know you should have charged more.

Greet the booth visitors!

I’ll admit, as a booth visitor I even get nervous roaming over the tables, sometimes hoping the booth babe won’t make eye contact with me JUST YET. But if you say something funny, it breaks the ice. I have food at my booth, so I like to say, (in a slight whisper), “You know, samples don’t have any calories!” It’s a new joke to every visitor but I’m sure Laurel got sick of it after the 100th time! No matter, I shut her up with some cookies!

Also, don’t be afraid to flirt with your visitors. Play a game with them. For a while when guys would come over and view the frosting, I’d say, “are you MAN ENOUGH to try a frosting shot?” Interestingly, more women were man enough than men.

Accept that you might not know what the heck will sell

Maybe you thought for SURE an item would be a hit, and no one is buying it. What went wrong? It might be the flavor of the market. It might be a season thing (my friend gave me some homemade coconut macaroons to sell, and we only sold a few.) I thought they were delicious, but they didn’t sell well. Laurel told me “not many people like coconut.” All my other items were chocolate-based, and chocolate is an easier sell. That’s not to say niche items wouldn’t sell. But it’s all a crapshoot.

About the frosting shots. I was SURE I had a hit on my hands. And in a way, I did. I had tons of people taking PICTURES of the “frosting shot” setup. But few bought frosting. The ones that did were PSYCHED that frosting shots existed, however. More men bought frosting than I would have expected.

Things ARE going to go wrong. Go with it.

Accidents happen. My biggest chocolate frosting bag exploded when I tried to dole out samples. I forgot to get napkins so I gave away more bags than I needed to. When the frosting exploded it ruined one of my signs. All i could say was OH WELL and just have fun with it!

Towards close of the fair, slash your prices!

No one wants to drag the unbought goodies home, and  a little money is better than none. For the last half hour of the show, offer half price, or just “massive discounts” to your prices. Do a two for one!

Also at the end of the day, see if you can do a trade with other vendors!

This is a benefit I didn’t plan on! One of the other vendors came over and wondered if they could trade with ME. WHAT AN IDEA! By the end of the day I had gotten some homemade soda, wasabe pate from Cobra pate, and Bacon Marmalade.